Let's play safe in Belgium

currently listening to billionaire by Travie McCoy

"there are only 15 minutes left before we rush into december 2010 and i was trying to calm myself down scracthin some words in the memory of november or belgium. unfinished. "

when it comes to the days left in london, i start to panic having a feeling of insecurity and waking up from my dream sooner or later. London is just not enough, 3 days, 3 months, or even the lifetime, just not enough. Belgium is about saturday night--shit face, tons of beers, smoking without limit, kisses with strangers, random sex. thats why i say: lets play safe.  enough said.

a week ago, belgium; a month ago, begium again. different city, same coutry and familiar taste of beers and chocolate. when i was standing in the middle of brussels square, i was bored and not a mood for anything, nothing special but its just like when you travel a lot, wandering in many different cities and countries without any concrete intention, they look just the same. i have to say that i liked belgium because the first night i was passed out and carried home by my buddy and this time i was chocolate toxicated.

Iper, Brussels, Brudge. i forgot to say that brussel is such an artistic town, walking around and sneaking into several private art galleries. some emotion just poured into my heart and i know this time how much i missed art that companied me for like past sixteen years and i decided not to keep it for life. almost cried when seeing some astonishing pieces and losing my mind for seconds. cheers, brussels.

perfectly failed on my graduate school exam. never mind. take again. i need some sort of motivation in my life for a bigger and further achievement. i just have some weird feelings about my life in london, for one hand, it is absolutely indescrible and crazy; for another hand, i was looking into myself how many things i could possibly experience and fullfil my greedy desires, and at the same time i was still looking for what i really want in life. maybe i am too rushing and i must cool down and rethink the value of life. too much thinking to deal with.

"there are three sides of a story-your side, my side and the truth, and the truth always comes out in the end" yesterday i was watching the new wall street movie-i dont understand why people criticizes its over-emphasis on relationship instead inside information of bank industry. its all the relationship among people, money is just an excuse, catalyst and invisible monster. therefore, there is no truth. people innocently keep seeking the truth side of every single story and failed in many ways but i like how the story is presented by its appearance-whoever told has its own reasons and why bothers.

belgium is another story which gets my friendship better with my friend here. got tons of sleep this week and dont want to do anything at all. then i just chill and time kills me in many ways.

its like 5pm and just woke up. oh, london, how much i like you.

Scotland: 50p of rainboots

currently listening to Love the way you lie by Eminem

my favorite quotes
"you are too cool for school"--MA
"you are special. you are just beautiful in every single way."--DB

many times i almost cry when i am walking in the middle of london having a feeling of lost, or when i am climbing the mountains with some sort of loneliness or when im falling asleep next to someone i like or i imagine i like. moments are to be remembered or made people moved--tears in the eyes, just running.

fort william-glenfinann-edinburgh. scotland reminds me of two places that i have been to and i hope to go back again--interlaken and cape town. interlaken, a small and beautiful mountain-view town, is situated in switzerland-so peaceful and astonishing just by chilling around. cape town, at the south of africa, owns mountains and oceans. scotland, in my image, is surrounded by these natural gifts with its unique colors.  still in shock about the multi-layers design of edinburgh, i thought it was mysterious that you could always see another lower level layer at where you are standing.

i used to write a lot of journals, short stories and poetry to keep track of my life, to have something in memory or to feel occupied. later on, when my life is becoming complicated, there is no time for me to narrate what my life consist of. it is moving on without any sort of clues or hints. so i wonder what the point of writing journals, dairy, or even blogs--i mean if all the writings are about what exactly i did--these will be boring, who cares? rather, i would like to have these days to be forgotten or to be none--just having the moment of myself and doing nothing at all.

some major words.
napping-whisky-rejection-scotish dance-walking in the rain-"things i love about Roy"-Empty-hiking-being stupid-cat-7 beers and 2 shots-stay loneliness-being cool-reindeer

make yourself dirty. im telling you that 50p is worth every single penny . last word, maybe you can leave yourself some time and some space to figure out another side of you but i decide not to like you any more. i love the way you lie.

scots. we need to spend some time with ourselves,at least, i do. when the sun rises, i should say good bye and good night to myself.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM.

Amsterdam--smoking is legal

currently listenting to Ignition by R.Kelly

what a night with all the craps going on with my life, somehow i cannot hold my breath or even let the air in for a second. what i am doing right now is what i want to do and dream to do, so what is the goddamn problem here? why am i not enjoying being crazily and absurdly busy in real life? you know why--i just want to be perfect and why is that a problem?

amsterdam is the place to be--be high, be happy and be free. i like amsterdam because i dont even want to be a tourist by giving those bullshit brochures about the places of interests and all i want to do is being happy, that is to say, being high from smoking. i cannot recall how i come over all the difficuties and get back to London but i had a blast in amsterdam, spirtually and physically. however, this month is not my month--its just things are going towards the way you hope to be, reversely, going agaist it. this sucks balls. unfortunately, it happened  A LOT recently.

went to van gogh museum, i still never thought i would be so moved and impacted by all the paintings and drawings, they are astonishing, especially you are looking at them with some inspiration of arts.

im literally stressed out by this damn internship application--cover letter, resume and email--i know exactly how i should format and everything is in my mind but i just cant compose a sentence and put all the words together. maybe im tired. maybe life itself is not easy to live up.

all i need is love.  work-out is a must. classes and work are required. travelling is necessary. exam is priority. but life is a crap.

to=do=list:
1. G space space Mt.
2. In ter n space space
3. Reading.
4. Brussel, Bacelona or Copenhagen?

good night, im going to crash in bed and dream the hell out of reality.

London: storyteller of Shakespeare

currently listening Better Together by Jack Johnson

im not in a mood for anything but his music is the best therapy for me at the moment, pacifying all the tiredness and craziness from what happened in London.  London is the place to be who you wanna be-actor, plumber, liar or someone else. i dont know whether people keep themselves busy every day for avoiding the feeling of being lonely or they are just busy for no reasons. it is easy to get lost in this big city--London.

fashion week is definitely a retreat for a long time myself being dumped by fashion industry and a jump-up for the taste of new trend. glamourous is not the word what im looking for, maybe the word "being" fits better. i was still overwhelmed by the sparkling lighting of catwalk stage and bloodless expession of models. anyway, flashing never stoppped during the entire catwalk and i actually did not pay close attention to the real dress of the models.

schedule just sorted out, sadly, there was no room for having fun at night, packing with tons of work instead. i think that is life, the life i choose to be and live on. much to say but little to tell about London. having been here for almost two weeks, i was wondering where i will be next time, another city like here or somewhere different--i dont know, life is tricky.

raining the whole day again. that sucks. hot chotolate is the best medicine for being sick after a shower. good night, Londoner.

craziness in India

currently listening to Crash into me by Dave Matthews

after a long trip of South Africa and Europe, with a low expectation for another journel, i accidently and fortunately arrived in New Delhi, India for my upcoming volunteer work. about india, the image flowing in my mind is about an indian girl's innocent smile in a noisy and busy rural setting background. of course, we started our one-week orientation full of sightseeing and some useful information. Learning Hindi, having vegetarian meals daily, and walking in the extremely hot weather, i cannot complain how much culture shock i experience each day.

india and china are totally different, which has been said many times that they are the same, or at least, for the most part. it is wrong. no matter politics, economics, people, culture and religion, india has its own asset and speciality. maybe the most striking thing for me is that there is no other places like India that traffic takes over everywhere. nevertheless to say, traffic is crazy, terrifying and dangerous. at the intersection, there are no red and green lights, all kinds of vehicle trap into each other, causing non-stop traffic jam.

still up this late, i dont know what im thinking at this moment. honestly, i enjoy india and i find peace here. it is just so different from the trip to south africa and europe. stuck in the middle of the visa issue for London, i have no ideas how to get through all the difficulties and clean the mess in my life. once i choose this lifestyle, then i have to continue to finish my journel. its all about world-hunting. no fear and all adventure. sometimes, we feel now we are exploring the world,  not all of it but some of which we have encourage to do so, in fact, we are going deep inside ourselves.

favorite picture. obssessed with the sunshine through the window, im just watching, bathing and pondering.

Taj Mahj tomorrow and volunteer starts monday. my life is extraordnary and self-contented.

No where else but Rhodes

So we are on the way to the islands of Rhodes by boat, kind of having some dizziness from Athens but grabbing a Greek beer, which actually tastes pretty cool. I cant recall most of the time in Athens because of drunkenness we had every single night. First of all, after arriving in the hotel, we went straight to the 21st floor rooftop pool partying, having some drinks and swimming. The weather is hot as funk, so are those girls with their tiny bikini.

Spending the whole evening drinking at rooftop and lying on the soft coach nearby the pool, I was almost falling asleep in this beautiful and cloudy late afternoon. Isn’t life amazing. The next day, we had a blast at the island—the beach club. It was incredibly crowded but inexplicably superb. Lots of people, dancing and smoking, were melt in this atmosphere. Absolutely ignore the site Acropolis, I took the city site bus, having a small nap with myself.

Let’s go back a bit where did we go before Athens? Milan. Venice, the city on the water, was our destination. Thus, another lazy afternoon was gone without any hesitation. The only comment about Milan is that everyone knows how to dress well, very well, especially for guys. With some old smell of this industrial city, fashion no doubt stands out with the way people present their attitudes to fashion.

It is time to view the sunset on the boat, and I am going to stop writing, wandering and chasing my mind. Let the game start and let us go crazy for life.

Perfectly Lonely, Paris

currently listening to perfectly lonely

feeling endlessly tired while walking back to the hotel, i am wondering what life feels like living in this city--Paris--that name was called many times by lovers or dreamer.   some moments about Paris that i will never forget or think of again.  Paris is slow or people in paris is slow, but at the same time, it is relaxing and chilling. the attitude to life is not whatever but who cares.

havent written anything about the last day in south africa, i was in hurry to Paris, spending time with myself in Paris. this is absolutley releasing from the past. nearly visited every single celebrated sites and cant stop taking pictures.  to me, it is all about learning--another way to be knowledgeable, just being a student not a tourist.

what did i do in paris. nothing, just chilling. grabbing some coffee with my friend whom i havent seen for like eight years, we watch people passing by and wait the sun going down, comfortably silent.  i just keep walking at every corner of this city and getting lost, honestly, it is a special feeling when you lost in such beautiful city.

modern art museum is definitely the best place i have ever been to. the ideas are indescribly amazing.  world-hunting is still moving on. so much happened, so little to say.  this is the life supposed to be.

Ciao, Paris.

Stellenbosch-unbelievable night

currently listen to stereo love by Edward Maya and Vika Jigulia

a glass of wine in hand, cutting off a slice of steak, watching the game Germany vs. Spain in Stellenbosch, i was sitting at the corner of the table, wandering my mind and feeling a sense of craziness. with a bit tipsy, we started hunting the bars in this small town--Stellenborch, somewhere South Africa.  went to dance in the crowd, i could not hear the wave of music, just shaking my body non-stop.

its been really amazing, the day of my life in south africa--every morning i wake up, i know it is another adventure, also part of life.

standing at the farthest south part of Africa, i have no ideas how to express the wildness of my nature, just climbing up to the top of the mountain, letting the strong wind blow you away. we young kids completely forget about the danger of lives and the height of mountains,  and we just keep running and trying to reach the final destinate--the closest point to the ocean.

we are going down, down to the hell. have you ever seen the highest wave of the ocean and have you ever been standing in front of it, a feeling of death. yea, crazy--this is all life about.

yestesday was the best day of my life. sandboading and quad biking. i always want to outdoors but it has never been given me an opportunity to put in that situation. this time, i had a blast, no matter how many times i fell down from the sandboard and rolled over on the sand, no matter how hard i was trying to control the balance of my body. i cant explain the moment cuz i killed it. afterwards, quad biking is the most adventurous thing i have done ever. frankily, controlling is not definitely easy, especially for quad bike. driving can be so much fun without the limit of speed, thats what we do.

isnt life amazing? time flies, really. hell no. every day is so unique and special and i cant put words into it. south africa definitely made my life extraordinary and new vision about living. the last night in south africa, let me write, let me drink and let me enjoy every minute now and the rest of my life.

good night and good bye, south africa.

Cape Town, South Africa.

currently listening to waka waka by Shakia

its time for africa

another cozy afternoon, missed the robben island, instead we headed to the waterfront, having some delicious seafood, which i ordered "smoked salmon"--it was amazing--because smoked salmon wrapped in break with butter, cream cheese and another source, i was slowly chewing the mixed taste of salmon and it is absolutely like the best seafood ever.


in the morning, we went to Table mountain, viewing the beauty of habor city Cape Town and climbing down from the top of the world, stiff and dangerous but good work-out. while walking around the table mountain, i dont how i feel at that moment, maybe a mood for sunset or sunrise, whatever it is but it is kind of emptines, tired of being by myself, at least, world-traveling is fun.

not to mention, waiting in line for the ticket at the lower station of table mountain, i saw the prettiest girl in my life. she is vrey attractive to me and i was lost in her beauty for a second, so regretful not to take any picture of her. she is just gorgous with indescible figures.

meeting new people from all over the world is an interesting thing, mostly happening in the night clubs or bars. drinking, smoking and flirting are the major activities we do in the bars,  i couldnt figure out where people are from but having fun and having the moment are the key for drunk asses like us.

Cape town is a fantastic place to be and i am fortunate to be here, seeing the other side of world and watching soccer game. what else can i mention. i gain some perspectives after this trip and it is all about life, how we have the attitudes for it, how we wanna live with it and how we hope to cost it.

end of story. bed time. miss ya all.
july 4th, happy birthday, america.

Life is like JaMaiCa

the color of carribean sea

before my mind is occupied by the damn school thing, i need to write something about Jamaica. something i like and i enjoyed a lot.  we flew to Montego Bay, stayed in Runaway Bay, and adventured Ocho Rios.  most of the time, we get drunk and get high, three times a day--morning call, after lunch and evening dizziness. most of the time, we lay on the beach, read books and fall asleep. most of the time, we eat, sleep, eat, sleep, like a circle. Yeah, we watch playboy channel...a lot. Isn't life supposed to be this way?  or people just work routinely and live in a box?

Jamaica, as an island nation, is situated in the Carribean Sea. Carribean Sea is as beautiful as fck, i say this because i can see the various types of color blue, nameless but spectacular. or say the beauty of nature. some other facts: national bird-doctor bird, national tree-blue mahoe,natinonal fruit-ackee.

"out of many, one people"

Peple in Jamaica are just frank, straightforward, friendly, more?  they just say whatever they want to say in their mind in a friendly way. one day, we went to a public area market and we were short of cash so we got to ATM and took some cash. there was a drug dealer coming to us after we walked out. he was trying to convince us of buying marijiuana(sadly, we already had too much) and kinda cornered us but we didnt take any action.
then he said, "so i cant make any money from you guys, so how am i gonna walk away from you guys without getting anything, so do you wanna buy me a beer over there?" "sorry man" " you guys even dont buy me a beer." i mean sometimes they are too straightforward. at least, they are real and true.

should i say more about the music? REGGAE. it goes along with Bob Marley. always.nO woman nO cry

AdventurE

in Ocho Rios, famous attraction is Dunn's river falls and park. the best part is we climbed the falls from the bottom to the top as a team. there is no better way to get close to the nature than this--you are actually in it. Oops.

there are many moments that we just lost in life, the glamorous luxury in life, the superfacial manner in life or the pure quietness in life. most of the time, for most people, we dont know what to pursue and where to go . what if i know and what if i realize what exactly kind of life i am looking for,  break is a must now and then.

                                       
i guess this is only picture i feel proud. first of all, Pers lost this pair of sunglass while climbing the fall. Then, in other people's eyes, maybe i can see myself better. end of story for JAMAICA.

Washington University in St.Louis

I do not expect such a great time in St.Louis, just hoping I can recover from my failure last year and go through it smoothly. St.Louis is a city that you always have a passion in exploring and end with sort of disappointment, merely in name of St.Louis.

Washington University is a classical and prestigious school for me to judge at first sight--huge, old building, and a good outline of campus. The reason for being there on New year eve is because I went to an intensive engineering program (I will elaborate it later) in WU and I just hope to figure out whether engineering is a suitable field for me to go further in terms of my furture career and my path to success. In general, I like this program, the class, the professor and the electrical circuit thing, not because I have learned part of the knowledge in high school but I feel satisfied with being smart in class. I know it sounds silly.

This program is called J-Term(January Intensive Term). J-term offers an opportunity for undergraduate who are interested in engeering to explore indtroductory engineering courses in special 11-day intensive format.It is also a chance of getting a head start at buidling connections and community before enrolling as Dual Degree engineering students. Students will stay in hotel and the program will have transportation to send in and drive back. The courses include CSE 200(Engineering and Scientific Computing) or ESE230(Introdution to Electrical&Electronic Circuits) and it depends on the class which one to take. Here is a link:
http://engineering.wustl.edu/dualdegreejterm

Honestly, I enjoyed this program a lot in general, most because of the people who I was taking course with. All of us are from different colleges and we are very special and unique individuals--It is funny how we get along well with each other for me to think regarding psychology side.

In addition, at some point, I give myself enough time to think about what I will do in the near future, where I want to go and what to achieve. Life is tough but we should not rush ourselves by others' doing, thinking and judjing. Have we ever thought about that this life is ours and no one can take it in personal?

Washington University in St.Louis and St.Louis. End of story.